Do you work with a workplace bully? I've had to work with a few in my career. I once had a co-worker who apparently didn't get the memo that it is inappropriate to swear at university committee meetings. I had a boss who was hopelessly unqualified for her job, realized it, and took her anger out on me. And, I once worked for someone who yelled at employees for carrying too much change in their pockets (after all, coins can be so loud!).
Working with, or worse, for a workplace bully can be incredibly stressful. When you combine issues of power, personal finances, unpredictability and inter-personal conflict, you get a potent recipe. So, how should you deal with these situations? Peter Weddle, in his book Work Strong, recommends you simply deny these workplace bullies your talent. But, even Weddle admits that quitting your job, and your paycheck, is easier said than done.
How did I handle my workplace bullies? For the curser in the story above, he was eventually let go from the university. The one who was in over her head was switched to a lower position, one she probably should have been assigned to in the first place. Both give me hope that there is such a thing as workplace karma -- that workplace bullies ultimately become the victims of their own behavior. The boss who hated coins? Well, in that case I followed Weddle's advice and quit.
One of the few positives of dealing with workplace bullies is that, after you live through them, they tend to make great stories. And this has me thinking. Chances are you've had to deal with a workplace bully at some point in your career. If you have, I encourage you to enter a comment below, share your experience and, more importantly, how you dealt with it.
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I once worked with a workplace bully who would flip out on people and scream at them and say horrible things when we weren't providing her with what she needed, when she needed it.
ReplyDeleteMy strategy was to befriend her and to find out what was really going on with this person. I had also had very positive experiences working with her and suspected that if I understood her better, I could 1) help her communicate her needs, or 2) become more skilled at understanding her needs and thus prevent future 'abuse' from occurring.
My decision worked out for me. We actually developed a respectful working relationship, and I am glad that I chose to step closer to the bully rather than step away and build even more walls than already existed.
My work history is somewhat full of bullies in one context or another. When I worked as an accountant, Credit Analyst, I had a customer service manager who was extremely protective of her negotiations. I consistently updated the Controller of the problematic accounts, and the difficult conversations I had with her, but was told more than once that, I needed to "use sugar instead of salt and vinegar". Finally the issue boiled to him wanting me to ignore resale tax issues (in Silicon Valley). My dad had a recent massive stroke, so when he stated, "if you can't do your job, I have to let you go"... I did not argue, as I had already told him I needed our CPA to help analyze our situation... He let me go, after I was finally hired after 1 1/2 years of temp work. I called HR in 2 days and was approved to apply for unemployment.
ReplyDeleteI also worked at a preschool for a year, where I witnessed a lead teacher bully 2 year-olds. Actually pinching their faces in anger, screaming inappropriate words, and taking food away. I told the manager, and they gave her an employee of the month award at least 3 times before I left. I provided a written documentation of situations I witnessed to the owner, who was married to a cop, on my 30 day review, and ended up in a petty 'no evidence'-'she said' scenario. I waited 9 months and although witnessed some shuffling, nothing was ever done for the poor woman who severely needed help. She was a single mother who brought her child in during the year I was there... and worked at a discount rate, I presume. My elderly mom broke her leg, so I finally ended up quitting. I regret not calling CPS, as I thought the owner, a police officer was 'probably' aware of the information I gave to his wife. Sure enough in the last few weeks, their personal computer kept going out, and they tried to intimidate me for 3 minute discrepancies. The bully teacher in question already began to accuse me of lying, so I quit before they started to frame me. I wish I could have got the parents contact information for references. I hope some employers are aware that whistle blowers do not necessarily have professional references worked together. Sometimes, references are from a bully for a bully who got busted. Quite the charmers in the application process. I count on my recent and current education, student advisers, and my experience in the classroom of the FBI Chief of the Leadership Development Institute, who I offer an email address for as a reference. Although it was only a 10 week course, I met his high standards and was really open with my personal and professional experiences.
ReplyDeleteI had a job and was the supervisor in a companies electronic service department. I got along great with my department and things ran efficiently. The VP was pleased with my department. Then the company decided to buy out a competitor in another state and one of their service department managers relocated and became my boss. He was a rude, arrogant very short man who had the need to blow his horn often to make himself feel big. He flat out told me that I knew too much about the department and the equipment we serviced and he got where he was by who he "squashed" and I was his next victim. He first ruined my reputation with my department by telling lies about me and then he started removing the tools I needed to do my job, including my desk which he emptied and relocated to his office since it was nicer than his.
ReplyDeleteI got sick of his ways and didn't want to be in a department that he ruined, so I transferred to Production. Soon the company had layoffs and he was the first to be laid off. He got what he deserved but I had to suffer for it.
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